Good Enough
by Fullmetal chibi-chan
Summary: Based on the song 'Good Enough' by Evanescence. A Oneshot about Inuyasha's childhood.


_**Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha, he belongs to Rumiko Takahashi. Nor do I own the song 'Good Enough' by Evanescence; I believe it belongs to Amy lee, though I'm not 100 sure.**_

**A/N: One of my friends convinced me to write this. I know it isn't exactly to the Inuyasha story in the fact that they never show Inuyasha's relationship with his brother in his childhood. This is only my prerogative of how it might have been. I suggest you listen to the song while you read. I'm not sure if it's already been done, and frankly, I don't care

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'_**Song'**_

'_Memory'_

'Normal'

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_**Good Enough**_

Inuyasha sat on his branch of the Goshinboku. Though his comrades thought it impossible, he did think, quite deeply in fact. The last visit from his brother was bothering him deep down… he hated Sesshoumaru… yes that was for sure…

Yet, deep down, he couldn't understand… why, why did he crave his brother's praise? Why did he yearn for a connection with him? After all the low, underhanded things he had done, why did he admire him? He dug his claws deep in the smooth bark of his tree, trying to will away the pain…

_**Under your spell again**_

_**I can't say no**_

_**To you**_

_Inuyasha looked in awe at the graceful figure in front of him. His mother had told him, only as a last resort, to seek his brother. He was only eight physically, though in years he was about 35, being that for his first five years of life he aged like any normal child would. _

_Was this truly his brother? Was he actually related to someone so magnificent? His height was amazing. He towered over him, staring at him with familiar amber eyes that struck a cold fear into him, he felt unworthy of his presence._

_"So your mother must be dead and you are alive? Pity…." The striped man growled. Inuyasha nodded, knowing what he'd meant by it… he knew that tone… pure disgust and loathing… "And you come crawling to me?" Those cold eyes narrowed and Inuyasha felt this body leave the ground from where he'd been thrown into his brother's quarters by his servants._

_"Filthy half-breed, how dare you come to me…" Inuyasha flinched; even his brother hated him…_

_"Please… I beg of you… let me stay!" Inuyasha groveled. Sesshoumaru glowered at him_

_"Why?" he asked, "Why should I show you mercy, you the one who taints our father's blood?" holding the hanyou to his face. Inuyasha could feel those cold eyes boring into him_

"_B-because… you're my brother…my oniisan… " He pleaded. The man let go of him as Inuyasha fell to the ground unceremoniously. He turned from him, pacing slightly. After a few grueling seconds he looked at his bastard brother with contempt._

_"Fine, but you will not get in my way… if such happens, you will be removed…permanently…" He glowered. "You will never call me as your brother. You are only an inconvenience to me. Lower than the prisoners rotting in the dungeons far below." His brother specified and threw a staff at him. "Make yourself useful half-breed…"_

_Inuyasha gulped and nodded, taking the two headed staff in hand. "Yes…lord Sesshoumaru…" He'd sacrificed his dignity, but perhaps he could gain his brother's praise in time…_

_**Crave my heart and its bleeding in your hand**_

_**I can't say no**_

_**To you**_

_The people of the castle spat as he walked by, the little dog-eared hybrid that trailed so closely behind the taiyoukai. He heard their harsh words, though none of them were about Sesshoumaru except shock at the fact he'd let him live. Inuyasha knew what he was to him, what they thought he was… a pet, a personal servant, one so expendable it didn't matter if he was there or not._

_Sesshoumaru had left it to one of the higher ranking servants to show Inuyasha his quarters. The woman dragged him by his ear, roughly, not caring about his screams of pain. She threw open a shoji door and shoved him in. The other Handmaidens and workers all glared at him. Enemies forgot their disputes, feuds were discarded. The one being in this room that was unanimously hated was the poor little half-breed, crumpled on the ground, trying to rub feeling back into his molested ear._

_Inuyasha stood up, feeling something all too familiar. The unmistakable feeling one gets when every being in the room utterly loathes your existence, the vote was undisputed, they would make his life hell… and even worse, enjoy every second of it…_

_Inuyasha tried to find a happy place, all his own, escaping into the recesses of his own mind, blocking out the fact that the entire room was descending onto him. Only when he woke up hours later did he realize the full extent of their damage, but he didn't care… nothing mattered but earning the praise of his brother, his lord… 'Hah, then they'll be sorry…' He smirked as he ignored the overwhelming feeling of despair, knowing, but choosing not to accept the fact that his dream was unattainable…_

_**Shouldn't let you torture me so sweetly**_

_**Now I can't let go of this dream**_

_**I can't breathe but I feel good enough**_

_**I feel good enough**_

_**For you**_

_3 Months later…_

_Sesshoumaru glared at his brother as he always did, "It is not worth my time. Perhaps too strong for you though weakling…" He stated calmly as he walked off. Inuyasha stared the ogre down, readying the staff in his hands, 'I'll prove I'm worthy of you Sesshoumaru!' he though as the staff incinerated the demon. Inuyasha looked back to see nobody… His brother had left him… _

_Inuyasha knew his scent and followed it diligently, arriving at his side after a couple of minutes._

_"Why were you dawdling you pathetic excuse for a demon?" Inuyasha flinched at his brother's harsh words and bowed in apology._

_"I'm sorry lord Sesshoumaru, it was my fault…" He murmured as her felt his self worth begin to recede. 'I'll earn your love someday…'_

_**Drink up sweet decadence **_

_**I can't say no**_

_**To you**_

_**And I've completely lost my self and I don't mind**_

_**I can't say no**_

_**To you**_

_Inuyasha cried out softly in pain as the clawed hand descended, he was used to this. He'd been beaten by many a man, woman, and demon. Why should it matter that he was now at the mercy of his older brother?_

_In truth, it didn't hurt physically, no, of course not, but the emotional scars he was inflicting were much more detrimental. He'd known his brother was mad. Something about panthers on his land, oh well, it didn't matter. Inuyasha had come to deliver his food, only to be greeted by a snarling taiyoukai_

_Sesshoumaru couldn't understand it! This little boy just stood there, getting up after ever strike with unwavering support, no matter how many times he beat him, he got up, ready for more. At least it made him feel better to watch this weakling bleed._

_The look in his eyes, pleading, begging for attention, for love… things he couldn't have… it almost made the demon lord feel guilty, almost…_

'_Anything for you…brother…' he whispered mentally as the hand rose again._

_**Shouldn't let you conquer me completely**_

_**Now I can't let go of this dream**_

_**Can't believe that I feel **_

_**Good enough**_

_**I feel good enough**_

_Inuyasha looked his brother in admiration through his unswollen eye. The other was sealed shut and an ugly purple black color, a greenish yellow puss would come out when he tried to use it, no doubt an after affect of his brother's poison claws. It would heal up in about a day or two._

_Sesshoumaru stood in field of dead demons foolish enough to cross his path. Inuyasha was in awe of his brother's extreme power. He made a promise to one day become that strong._

_"That was so…so amazing! You're really strong!" Inuyasha exclaimed as Sesshoumaru felt a small twinge of pride, Inuyasha ventured close to his brother, tugging on his pant leg, "Do…Do you think I'll ever be as strong as you? On-"He stopped himself, "Lord Sesshoumaru…" Sesshoumaru's glare was enough to confirm he'd pick up on his slip-up. Inuyasha braced himself as the hand fell upon him, knocking him to the ground harshly and coming across his infected eye._

_"Never, how dare you try to lump yourself with me, you grotesque abomination!" he snarled and wiped the puss from his hand in revulsion. Inuyasha clutched his eye in agony as he felt the hotness of the infection and his pulse beneath his hand from it. _

"_Yes… lord Sesshoumaru…" he rasped dolefully._

_**It's been such a long time coming but I feel good**_

_**And I'm still waiting for the rain to fall**_

_**Pouring life down on me**_

_**Cause I can't hold on**_

_**To anything this good…enough**_

_Inuyasha was about 10, beatings were regular and deep inside, the unrelenting feeling of hopelessness was nagging at him. For the first time, he'd joined his brother in battle. He'd finally been able to show him his skills that he'd just acquired. Sesshoumaru had been surprised for a moment as the half breed screamed out, "HIJIN TESSO!!" And shredded the nearest demons to pieces. He knew the boy had much power hidden. If someone only harnessed it, he could be a great and powerful warrior one day_

_Sesshoumaru snorted at the though, 'That dirty blooded mongrel becoming anything? Hah, how foolish'_

_**Am I good enough?**_

"_Brother! Brother!" Inuyasha called out in glee, not noticing his mistake, "Did you see that!! Did you? Did you?!" He was hopping with ecstasy. Sesshoumaru nodded curtly._

"_Wasn't I awesome? It was so cool!!" He cried, his brother would have to praise him now! He was strong!_

"_Silence!" he demanded._

_**For you to love me too?**_

_"You incompetent fool, not matter what you do, you will never be strong… ever…" He huffed and stalked away._

_Inuyasha fell to his knees, this was too much, he snapped… The tears he'd been fighting back for two decades came cascading down in tears of hate. He clutched the bloody ground beneath him, glaring as the tread clouded his sight. "I HATE YOU SESSHOUMARU!!!!" The boy screamed at the top of his lungs, never again would he look up to that monster!_

_He would surpass him! He would never ever let anyone take advantage of him! How foolish he'd been, trying to earn the love of a demon heartless enough to contemplate killing his kid brother!_

'_Finally,' He murmured mentally, 'He had the patience of a saint…' He heard his little brothers cries of hate and pain and shrugged them off, though only for a second, he felt like he'd made a very foolish decision, a sense of foreboding for the future…_

**_So take care what you ask me,_**

_Inuyasha swung Tetsusaiga expertly, "Today you die, you cold hearted bastard!" He smirked conceitedly. They charged at each other, locking blades with a deafening **CLANG!** _

_As both stared one another in the eyes, brother to brother, opposite pools of amber, one fiery, one cold. Inuyasha saw his older sibling let one chilling smile grace his features…_

_**Cause I can't say no….**_

_"You will never be good enough…" He sneered, taking Inuyasha's moment of weakness to the fullest advantage, knocking their father's fang from his hand, Tokijin against his throat. "You're not even worth the energy…" He shot as he walked away, disappearing into the deep forest…_

_Inuyasha got up, wiping the dirt from his knees and rear. The one person who had ever shown him acceptance ran to his side, Tetsusaiga in hand, utterly confused at the fact Inuyasha had been overcome so easily._

_"What did he say to you?" she inquired. He keh'd, taking his sword back angrily, sheathing it._

_"Nothin'" He growled, walking from his pack, arms crossed._

Inuyasha shook his head, trying to make the memories sink back into nothingness. He'd never forgive him! Not even if he came back crawling on his belly, begging for his mercy… he would just look at him a laugh! Oh yes, that would be the day! He stretched as a yawn overtook him. Placing his hands behind his head he looked to the starry skies, wondering, if he'd ever be good enough… good enough for anyone… good enough to be loved… Pushing those thoughts away, he closed his eyes, drifting off into sleep, the only world where he could rest, such a sweet and endless void…

_Owari…

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_A/N: Review if you please._

_FullmetalChibiChan AKA InuyashaLuvsKagomeForvever_


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